Discipline Without Breaking Them

IWM Devotion: Discipline Without Breaking Them

Scripture: 1Thessalonians 2:11— “For you know how, as a father [dealing with] his children, we used to exhort each of you personally, stimulating and encouraging and charging you”.


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Word for Today

My dear mothers, Let’s look at something else that’s very powerful today, not as someone who knows it all, but as someone who truly cares. Raising children is not easy. Every day comes with its own challenges, and sometimes, out of love, we push, we correct, we discipline. And yes, discipline is good. The Bible even supports it. But there is a line we must be careful not to cross.

Because sometimes, without realizing it, we begin to pressure our children too much. When we talk about comparison, it’s not just something adults struggle with, parents need to understand this too, so they don’t pass it on to their children. Comparison is harmful, it can break a person and destroy their dreams, vision, and even their sense of self. I’ve seen what comparison can do to a child, and it’s simply not worth it.

We compare. “Look at your sister, why can’t you be like that child, others are doing better than you”.

Dear woman, these words may seem very small to us, but they go deep into the heart of a child. Comparison does not build them, it breaks them. It slowly steals their confidence and makes them feel like they are never enough. The Bible says in Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”

This is not only for fathers, no. It speaks to us as mothers too. When a child is constantly compared or pressured, their heart becomes heavy, and slowly, they lose courage. Every child is different. God did not create them the same way. What one child can do easily, another may struggle with, and that is okay. Instead of comparing them, why not appreciate. Your child brings home results that are not so good, instead of shouting first, pause. Look at the effort. Say, “I see you tried. Let’s work on it together.” Correct them, yes. Guide them, yes. But don’t tear them down.

Let them know, “This is not your best, I know you can do better, but I still believe in you.” Now, there is power in that kind of love. Let me give you a simple example. Two children wrote the same test. One gets 85, the other gets 55. The mother of the 55 child gets angry and says, “See your friend. What is wrong with you?” That child goes quiet, not because they understand, but because they feel ashamed. This is often why they don’t feel comfortable telling you anything, because they expect to be shouted at or made to feel bad. Let’s do better for our children.

Now, the other mother looks at the same 55 and says, “Okay, we didn’t do so well this time. Come, let’s read together and improve.” That child feels safe, and that safety gives them strength to try again. You see the difference? One approach builds fear, and the other builds growth. Like we saw yesterday in the book of Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Training is not only correction, it is also patience, understanding, and also love. Another powerful scripture also reminds us in Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

My dear mothers, our words matter. Out tone matters. How we handle their mistakes matters a lot. Let us raise children who are not just disciplined, but also confident, secure, and full of joy. Learn to appreciate the little things, encourage their efforts, and please correct them with love. Because at the end of the day, we are not just raising children, we are shaping hearts. And a heart that is constantly compared will shrink, but a heart that is loved will bloom.

God will help us all. Amen